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How To Talk to Dates

How To Talk to Dates About Food Allergies

Dating can be exciting. It can also be intimidating, especially when you add food allergies to the mix. Whether you met at school, online, at work, or somewhere else, the earlier you can tell your date about your food allergies, the better, since dates often revolve around food.

You might have questions like: Is their favorite candy peanut butter cups? Do they eat pizza with extra cheese every Friday? Will they understand what a food allergy is – and will they care?

Download FAACT's How To Talk to Dates About Food Allergies handout.

Here are some ways you can bring food allergies up in your conversations:

  • “I am so excited for our date. Let’s go bowling [or fun activity not involving food]! I prefer not to go out to eat on the first date because I am severely allergic to [allergens].”
  • “Would you like to go out this Saturday? I was thinking we could go to [safe restaurant]. I have food allergies, and that is a safe place for me.”
  • “I would love to go out Friday! But instead of going to [unsafe restaurant] could we go to [safe restaurant] or [safe restaurant]? I have severe allergies to [allergens] and would be way more comfortable at these restaurants.”
  • “I’d love to take you out this weekend! I am hoping we can do something like [fun activity that does not involve food]. I am not sure if you knew, but I have severe allergies to [allergens]. Would [fun activity] work for you?”

Not everyone wants to kiss on the first date (or first couple of dates), but if you think it is a possibility, bring that up too!

  • “I am so excited for our date! I just wanted to remind you that I am allergic to [allergens]. So, if you think there might be a kiss at the end of the date, please make sure you don’t eat [allergens] today!”
  • “I am excited for our date. Thanks again for being so understanding. Not to be weird, but I can’t kiss anyone if they have eaten [allergens] recently. Just so you know.”
  • “It’ll be so nice to see you again Saturday. Just remember, I can’t kiss anyone who has eaten [allergens]! :)” 

Lastly, invite questions. You want to get to know this person better, after all.

  • “I had a great time on our date. Thanks for being so great when the chef came out to talk. Let me know if you have any questions about my allergies.”
  • “It was so sweet how you ordered the same thing I ordered so I could feel safe tonight! Let me know if you ever have any questions about my food allergies. I know you love ice cream. I know a great brand that does not have my allergen! Let’s try it together some time. :)”
  • “Thanks for coming out with me tonight. Mini golf was so fun… even if neither of us got a hole-in-one! By the way, I know I only touched on my food allergies briefly since we weren’t eating but let me know if you have any questions. I can’t wait to hang out again next week.”

Confidence is key. Own it!